Doubting

All I wanna do is swear
All I wanna do is swear
Last night all I wanted to do was swear

My body felt a huge weight last night with all the heaviness feeling like a hole was being burnt through my stomach and heart. I tried to sleep/pray/think it all away, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t even really think straight or point specifically to what it was that made me feel that way, just that I felt that way and I desperately wanted it to disappear.

My roommate tried to help me work through what it was,
Maybe doubt? -doubt in myself, in his grace and plan, doubt in the situation, my future, my present… she prayed for me and it brought peace for the moment …

This morning the heaviness has lightened but the doubts are still there….

God doesn’t want us to be confused right?

He doesn’t want us to hurt anyone either right?

Did I miss something in this journey?


I was at a meeting and one of my friends was praying for me and as he was praying i was thinking that what he was saying was right on....every single word meant something, it freaked me out in the best way... all i know is that right now I wanna do what I am suppose to do, go through this life with a sense of his plan and without complaining about the situation but instead allow God to use it and me for whatever it is that he has....


The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to Ginny Owens