JitterBug

Why does inspiration for something have to come so late?

Right now my body is on high caffeine alert, even driving didn’t feel right, nor does typing since neither of these move fast enough

I am hungry, and all day I have been craving a burger but I wont give in, I wont! Cause I am sure that once I give in the first time I will continue to give in again and again and this will not lead to me being a self controlled human being when it comes to fast food so instead I vowed to myself and Val that I would eat at home, and eat something lovely indeed…

I like to follow through with what I say as well… so here is proof I came home to eat deliciousness

Kinda makes you wanna come over for dinner and enjoy some eh, along with the company of me right? Sheeesh I impress myself sometimes!

Sick I have an exam in two days, please Saturday dont come ( actually do come but make me brilliant before you get here) ...Sick sick sick I don’t want to do it, I can’t do it, I shouldn’t do it yet I have to do it….

maybe eating will make me less annoyed with the lack of disciple I have had towards studying and hopefully it will make me less jittery ….yes less jittery is what I need before I head to the library right near where I live….



ps. the orange stuff is food colouring wrapped around a yummy moist ( but non mushy) noodle as well as some solid white tuna surrounded my some lovely red raspberries!

Miss you

To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
Incubus

I was out with one of my kiddies last night and she gave me something to think about, she was talking about the idea of missing people and I guess she caught on that I might have been missing a certain person that was driving through my city, past the exit to my place at that moment.

Well what she told me was comforting, it went something like this “when we miss someone it confirms part of our feelings for that person” as if my feelings/insides/thoughts were telling me that there is something here between us which is worthy of missing. While she was talking I was thinking about a conversation me and T had the night prior. He was telling me how this (us + distance) “is a kind of wonderful torturous emotion” and he is right it is all of that and more.

To be honest I just wanted to be there with him, next to him, smelling him, holding him near, hugging him,cooking with him, anything! Potentially just doing nothing but being near, but things don’t work that easily, life and borders and kilometers get in the way. And the reality is that we dont always have things the way we want them(probably some sort of messed up beautiful blessing)and I think I am alright with that, I think I have to be !

Don’t get me wrong I don’t feel that missing feeling all the time but there are moments

little moments
wonderful moments
torturous moments.