Because I like to read through past thoughts

Dec 1, 2006 !
Nothing
I am trying to figure out if it is wrong to do a little shuffling with my friends. Well more accurately put remove some friends from my life. I know that might sound a bit harsh, but I don’t think that all the people I have in my life as friends are worthwhile. This does sound bad but I don’t want it to come across that way, all people can’t be good for you. And some people I have in my life are not. I try to be loving and gracious but to be honest I cant all the time, and with some it seems that I have to be trying at every moment not just to turn to them and say that I can’t deal with their friendship anymore and to please just leave. Maybe it’s the mood I am in right now, but maybe it’s real. If I keep the people in my life that are really having a negative impact on my spirit what is the purpose? Am I not just reinforcing my need to be friends with everyone, am I just using them? This is hard for me because i want everyone to feel loved. I just don’t know.

Today was the first day I ever drove my car all alone, it felt like a great achievement although all I did was move it from one parking spot to the next. This is not as easy as it sounds for beginners in the driving of 5 speed cars. I had to get it into first gear, turn it around and reverse it so I could parallel park all with my lovely stepfather heckling me, right now I kind of wanna just go on my street and practice but the snow scares me, I keep thinking I am going to stall and a bus will be coming and wont be able to get out the way and smash into my sweet little white Honda and that will be the end of my driving days.
Everything seems to sound negative today, it wasn’t intended at all.

Today was actually a good day; I got a massage for an hour, bought some stuff for my new car, named the car Petey with the aid of my friend Megan, actually she thought of the name and I though of the story. Petey is a poor Gardner from England who with every cent he makes feeds and cloths his family.

I got to chat with someone pretty awesome, and that always makes me smile. I like smiling, I don’t like wrinkles, but I like smiling.

I love God too, its not just an after thought, its my reason for being

Update from then: The friend that was trying on my patience is no longer as close to me as we once were, but I think this is a good thing :)

Driving little ole Petey is not as hard as I thought it would be and man I really was mad at myself for buying a standard because it seemed so hard.

Memories please

I was going to write about the beautiful morning I had in the sunshine and how I love days when the temperature is just right but quickly changed my mind when I saw the snow….SNOW… it is not supposed to snow in March unless you are anywhere east of here…

so instead I thought I would write about what I found today in my parents basement, something small but significant … this picture of me… it is significant because not many pictures of little leaha exist…there are a few ( 2) on my grandmas wall and my mother has 3 pictures of me in the age range of 2-5… other then that there is no photographic evidence of my existence… there are reasons for this that are not really important besides the fact that my mom did what was best for me and her at the time.

I love finding old photos because I don’t remember my life from before 11 years of age except for the fact that i moved around alot. Some say that not remembering is for my own benefit, some say that it is normal… but those people at least have photos of their life…. and now I have one more to add to the collection and that is SWEET.