Aug 27, 2007

The Buckskin Curtain

This weekend I went on a hike with my sweet friend Leah to Buntzen Lake. The journey was about 5-6 hours long. It was a nice opportunity to have quality time with Leah as well as be secluded from the noisy distractions of life. We started about nine in morning, on a cloudy day. My bag “broke” as well as my water bottle, the contents of it which made their presence known on my lower back. The trail we hiked is called Diez Vistas to signify to 10 amazing views we were suppose to see, I think we maybe found 7 of them, in which 3 were nice, and the rest were damaged by trees that were in the way. My friend Leah fell because she wanted to take a short cut, a elderly man told us to always be talking so that the bears and cougars wouldn’t eat us...(his way of staying safe was have cans attached to his backpack that clanked with each other to make a chime like noise, my way of keeping my self safe was by picking up to sticks and hitting them together, although Leah quickly got annoyed of this), we ate, took pictures, complained minimally, got rained on, ran a little bit, leah thought a tree bite her, I knew a mosquito bite me ( darn insects!) We got back to my car around 3pm perspiring and weary only to find that I absent mindedly left my lights on ( not sure why they were on to begin with ) so Leah bravely searched the parking lot for a helping hand ( 4 those cord thingy’s) and voila my car was brought back to life ! I like hiking; I wish I had brought a book though, hmm maybe next time.

Today while stuck in traffic I fell in love with this song;
“Calendar Girl"If I am lost for a day; try and find meBut if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me

All of the things that I thought were so easyJust got harder and harder each day
Calendar girl whose in love with the world Stay aliveCalendar Girl whose in love with the world Stay aliveI dreamed I was dying; as I so often doAnd when I awoke I was sure it was trueI ran to the window; threw my head to the skyAnd said whoever is up there, please don't let me dieBut I can't live forever, I can't always breathOne day I'll be sand on a beach by a seaThe pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a crossAnd I'll laugh about all that we've lostCalendar Girl who is lost to the worldStay AliveCalendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive

Right now I am reading a text book for school ( yes I know school hasn’t started but what the heck) called The Unjust Society by Harold Cardinal which speaks about the governments relationship towards aboriginal people being that “ the only good Indian is a non-Indian”. I have been reading in awe what this author writes because it is the true of my life, for years I have been made to feel shame because of who I am, where I come from starting from my birth ( loss of status) to know where my friends are ignorant about the situation and complain about things they see as “ privileges” which in reality are pay offs ( try asking a native person who was stolen from there home and sent to a residential school) to keep peoples mouths shut.
“It sometimes seems to Indians that Canada shows more interest in preserving its rare whopping cranes than its Indians. And Canada, the Indian notes, does not ask its cranes to become Canada geese. It just wants to preserve them as whooping cranes, Indians hold no grudge against the big, beautiful, nearly extinct birds, but we would like to know how they managed their deal. Whooping cranes can remain whooping cranes, but Indians are to become brown white men, the contrast to our situation is an insult to out people”(2)
“As an ethnocentric society, the Canadian non-Indian society puts its own peer group at the centre of all things desirable and rates all other cultures accordingly. It is an assumption, quite often becoming a conviction, that the values, the ways of life, the whole culture of ones own group must be superior to those of others. Tell a person long enough and often enough that he is inferior and likely he will eventually accept the false image you thrust upon him’ (4) .

People get educated and start caring about people more then animals!

Aug 24, 2007

The Past

A time when I was young and had an amazing best friend by the name of Arian....these pictures are him and I in character I guess.

Aug 23, 2007

Dont Know

I have never had the remarkable talent of putting my thoughts into words, I use to have it but I figure I dropped it somewhere and it hasn’t found its way back to me. I have been re-reading the wonderful book by C.S Lewis called The Screwtape Letters , not only read it but understand it ( understanding doesn’t come easy to me ). Today while waiting for an interview, I read the following quote and it struck me (Here Screwtape is telling Wormwood about how God (The supposed enemy) teaches people)

He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away his hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wordwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending , to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys” (40)
I am still intending but no longer desiring I lost the desire somewhere and haven’t a clue where or how to find it again. I am sick of being a hypocrite about my faith, about pretending to be a christian when I am not even sure what that means anymore …its almost like it is a crime to question, to be different then everyone else who says they believe...Almost like people that I am in the same circles with forgot that when Jesus was here he was unlike anyone, he was superb,outspoken, full of love and always honest…its like people are living in a fantasy about the truth when we are all crying out for reality! The only hope I have right now comes from 2 Timothy 2:13
“If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself “

I went to a movie today with my sister/friend Carla, we saw Stardust, And I highly recommend it unless you don’t like the movies I like, but you would only know this if you knew me or watched movies with me, yet still go see it !

Aug 22, 2007

Settling Back In

This summer has been pretty interesting for me.
It started with me working for the government in a demanding job making nice amounts of money. It ended because of my desire to go back to Quebec and learn French ( and see a certain somebody )
I spent 5 weeks in Trois Riviers having an entertaining time, I wasted a lot of time not learning French or doing homework for my distance Ed classes. For the moment I was there I made a lot of friends, ate a lot of crappy caf food and spent the majority of my time with a certain someone (but not the certain somebody that I spoke of earlier). I forgot about life back in BC, it felt nice when I was there until I came home and realized that life still goes on here, and it can’t go the way it was going at “French camp”. So now I am home trying to put back together, or rather re-form my faith, friendships, health, cleaning/driving skills and do it in a way that is non-hypocritical in my mind.

I enjoy being back, I enjoy my own bed. I am glad that I got to spend a week in W.Virginia and test out some horrible leadership skills and function on no sleep and still smile my way through it…it gave me a chance to remember how much I love doing those types of trips and that I should be spending my time doing what I love.
Right now the one thing pressing on my mind is to get a job and not spend so much money on dining out.... or not eat so much baked goods ( who am i kidding I live for baked goods)

Aug 19, 2007


On friday august 16th I signed my first lease.

I am moving out of my house finally, and it feels really nice, I have lived away from home many different times, but I have never lived away from home in the same city. This is a needed thing to keep my mind sane and my studies effective.
This is a picture of my new place, well the bottom left hand side is going to be it along with my fellow Russia trip buddie Jenn ! I am looking forward to living so close to Starbucks, hmm maybe I will start working there !
I am going to miss home, not really the physical place since its a ghetto place, but the feeling of the place..the fact that I know I can jump into my sisters bed when I feel like crap and chat with her and she wont disregard me...or If I need to relax and tune out the world I can go into the sauna and read a book while sweating out all the toxins i have allowed in.
I am really looking forward to living with someone who likes to read, think and cook amazing food...vegan food... I guess I dont have to worry about her eating my cheese, that is if I ate that dispicable item !!!!!
So this is my first blog, its not that good but I am not good at blogging when I am not full of emotions... they will get better.