What!

I feel as if I am living someone elses life right now, more specifically in these last 24 hours.

I had a crappy crappy new years eve day and night
anD
I had a wonderful realization of Gods love.

My husband did something yesterday that now requires consequences to his actions, leaving me alone and semi worried ( only because I dont have any information on his situation/condition) but along with the heaviness in my heart there is a comfort.

God has shown me how much he cares for me by sending people my way or sending me to people as a strength and reassurance of his plan.

I have felt more loved in these last 24 hours by God's people here in Anacortes then ever before.

Doors have been opened
Food has been served
Shoulders have been given
Prayers have been said

and the majority of my anger and fear has dissolved...

I feel completely bare and motionless right now as I am unaware of what my next task is...should I do laundry, should I take the dog for a walk, should I eat, should I pray, should I cry, should I pretend nothing happened, should I prepare for when he comes home, should I just sit and be still?


I want this to be a dream, I want to wake up next to the man I love and forget these past two days.