Jul 22, 2008
Crazy get gone.
I feel like I have become this person I don’t recognize
Not particularly bad but just unrecognizable. ( this picture makes it look bad but it doesnt represent anything, i just thought it was funny)
I am in love with someone who is pretty darn amazing and we have decided to spend our loves together and it is all very exciting. All the things that come along with it are pretty cool as well but there are moments when I feel the weight of it all pushing on my emotional button. Sometimes I feel like screaming at it (the emotional thingy) but it would be screaming at air and I already feel crazy and that would probably just make more people around me agree that I actually am crazy. Being out of whack makes me act in ways that are not me, take these last two instances which both occurred last night.
1) I had a fight with the one I love about stupid things. I hate fights. I love peace. I like my heart beating at a semi-normal pace, and fighting throws it off.
2) I went grocery shopping and bought lots of things that I shouldn’t have but particularly two because of my neo emotional, pre marriage, pre move out of my country, post annoyance with trying to pick classes and figuring out how I am going to pay for it all stress.
So if you’re around please come eat those things that will not do my body good (cookies and some super sugary cereal). Plus last night I ate some greasy chicken wings for dinner and I am going to get married soon, like 2-6 months soon and I have been so good lately with my choice of food (not last night of course) and I don’t want to let my emotional state dictate my behavior. I want to be consistent and reliable. And another thing, I love my bed and prayer and showers and sugary cereal for breakfast and the birds twirping outside my window right now… they are all so very comforting
Ok so it wasn’t all bad food that I bought…there were some apples, cucumbers, tomatoes, tuna, mini cans of beans…hmmm who knew they came in mini.