Sep 8, 2007

Leaving Time

I am sitting in a room void of anything that has come to symbolizes me
No dream catcher on the wall
No shelves full of books
No guitar catching dust in the corner
No clothing systematically placed on the ground
I am biting my pinky trying to fight off all the negative thoughts going on in my head like;
Am I mature enough?
Am I the right age?
Am I going to be lonely
What am I going to do with my lonely self?
Am I going to eat right?
Will I shower?
shouldnt I wait until I am married to move out??? ( ok I am not thinking that one!)
How will my mom know when I am sad?
I am scared to move away in the same city, moving away in a different city is easier because i know I am coming back to this place that I have grown up in, but now my parents are making plans for MY room and I wanna be a selfish kid and say NO GO AWAY and just leave it, leave it bare, leave it untouched, leave it mine

I want to go to sleep, wake up and be 15 again! I had best friends, cute brothers and sister, less weight, better grades, no bills, no stress, no wrinkles, just dreams and imagination! I think need this book !

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Dearest leaha...

I know it doesn't seem like it but things will get better. Parents don't forget about their kids...sometimes it seems like they care more than when they lived with us. And it makes going home for dinner all that extra special. And as scary as it seems now, it is exciting to be able to make your own decisions and not have to factor in other people. You can decide what you want for dinner and things like that. Come ask some of us long time gone from the nest people for advice if you need it, or need some comfort. We have all been there and would love to pass on some wisdome of how to make things easier. Don't hesitate to ask. I'll be praying for you. Call if you need to.

Love Nikki