I have had a really amazing week which has made me grateful and suspicious! Grateful because even with all the rain and fog I have woken up most mornings with a smile for no one particular reason, more a multitude of different situations colliding with one another to produce something like joy! Suspicious because I am a human and I am wondering when the inevitable plunge will occur.
I am reading a book called Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli that my roommate lent me, as I read I become more and more convicted that life is more then whatever it is right now…. That “sameness is a virus that infects members of industrialized nations and causes an allergic reaction to anyone who is different. This virus effects the decision making part of our brains, resulting in an obsession with making identical choices everyone else is making” (78) Ha lovely is what I think, I think more but its kind of private for right now ! All I know is that I am bored with my condition in being like everyone else, even worse is that desire that I have to be like them and I am not talking about the people of the mainstream culture!
This song has been humming around in my head for the last 3 days
You are the strength that keeps me walking.
You are the hope that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
My heart has been yearning for missions again, at a local level as well as international! After my TREK experience I felt as if I would never be able to do it again, I felt lost, alone, forgotten in a way..Not because of the trip itself but by coming back and not feeling like I belonged or was wanted...it was weird.. I questioned a lot but in the end it was good and I was brought back to a place where my hearts desire was that of Isaiah’s where he says “Here I am, Send Me”!!! This is where I am right now waiting, not sure of what I will hear or where I will go but knowing that this is what I love!