Nov 27, 2007

This isnt a good one

I feel so defeated right now, I feel mad and upset and I don’t know what to do or who to blame or what to do…I just wanna swear and feel safe. I feel so hopeless right now.

There are too many things on my plate, there is too little me, there is not enough room for error or wisdom on how to teach myself to learn and remember and how to be what they want me to be.

I feel so hopeless right now, I don’t want to fail or cry or give up …no ones made room for that… I want someone here, someone that understands, not just pretends they do… I want someone here , someone to help .

I don’t know the plans for my life, I can barely pass school so why am I in it…why do I pretend that that’s where I am suppose to be… I have never fit into it…

I wish there would have been someone there along the way that would have told me to do my homework or go to school or give a damn…why did i feel like I was suppose to go to school if I feel the way I feel right now…so hopeless… no direction seems like the right one…I just want to crawl away somewhere where people wont be so optimistic or demanding or disapointed or anything

I wanna be somewhere where I don’t feel like such a screw-up and a mess and a complainer and were its all right.

I feel so defeated right now

5 comments:

Jenn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn said...

Why didn't you come next door and talk? I'm here for you, remember

Katrina Janzen said...

hi hon.

leah said...

leaha i love you.

little white girl said...

aww baby it going to be okayy
i love you vary much <3