Jan 25, 2008

The Verge


I was on the verge, I am on the verge.

I am not sure which type of verge exactly but I think that will work itself out as I write.

You ever feel like you are on the verge?
-the verge of tears
-the verge of giving up
-the verge of giving in
-the verge of cursing
-the verge of screaming
-the verge of doing something thoughtless
-the verge of a breakdown

How about being on the verge
-of something beautiful
-of something completely freeing
-of something raw
-of something beyond yourself

What if you were on the verge of writing something amazing and then realized you had no paper and by the time you got home your amazing thought was now forever part of the past?

I was on the verge a while back of doing something thoughtless that was only going to utilize the section of my brain that screams “ME”. I was on the verge of acting faithless because I forgot that he would remain faithful because he can not deny himself. I didn’t want to do what was right even though I wasn’t even doing the wrong that I was thinking I wanted to do, make sense?

Now I am still on the verge, the verge of something beautiful the verge of giving in, giving up and screaming freedom. Giving up the constructed me to become the real me in him, Giving up the fake niceties that have people liking me without ever knowing me, Giving in to his plans, his love and his reality. Screaming freedom because he came here to set me free from the law, from the rules, from the religion and from the status-quo.

12 comments:

jocelyn said...

I often feel like I am on the verge of acting faithless. I wish that i could heed that feeling so as to avoid that sinking feeling of falling OVER the verge and into that pit of acting self-serving!

nice blog!

LeahA said...

I relate ! Its like you have to constantly remind yourself to stay on track, a reminder for that happens every hour when my state is like that..
Thanks for reading and commenting.

Shawn said...

I am on the verge of saying hello. So um...Hello!

LeahA said...

Hello back at you Mister Shawn !

Shawn said...

Hello back at you Miss Leaha. Ok enough of that. I wanted to apologize for not stopping by your blog sooner. I kind of feel like a jerk for it.

LeahA said...

Meh, its aight !

I dont really write for people as horrible as that sounds... I keep telling Jenn to do that as well for her own sanity !

When and if you read beware I am not as educated and political as my roomie and I sometimes forget to do it !

Shawn said...

Im nowhere near as smart as Jenn as far as writing, and I am nowhere near as politically hardlined, I enjoy the middle of the road. I love hearing both sides of everything and it is my belief you can't hear what the other person is says from so far away.

leah said...

ummm... am i seeing some comment flirting there?

im kidding leaha.. kiddddinggg. =) so dont shoot me when i come over tomorrow. (b/c i would like to enjoy jenn's cupcakes before i die)

Shawn said...

No, Leah, I promise I don't flirt, ask Jenn, I will flat out say it.

Jenn said...

Have to say Shawn's right and regardless Leaha has a man remember? If anyone should be flirting with anyone it should be with me - me who is single and makes cupcakes

LeahA said...

I can flirt with you Jenn

Shawn said...

Flirting is worse than a first date.