Mar 27, 2008

Memories please


I was going to write about the beautiful morning I had in the sunshine and how I love days when the temperature is just right but quickly changed my mind when I saw the snow….SNOW… it is not supposed to snow in March unless you are anywhere east of here…

so instead I thought I would write about what I found today in my parents basement, something small but significant … this picture of me… it is significant because not many pictures of little leaha exist…there are a few ( 2) on my grandmas wall and my mother has 3 pictures of me in the age range of 2-5… other then that there is no photographic evidence of my existence… there are reasons for this that are not really important besides the fact that my mom did what was best for me and her at the time.

I love finding old photos because I don’t remember my life from before 11 years of age except for the fact that i moved around alot. Some say that not remembering is for my own benefit, some say that it is normal… but those people at least have photos of their life…. and now I have one more to add to the collection and that is SWEET.

9 comments:

Jenn said...

I know freaking snow!!! Yay for old pictures - there is that one of me and my dad that I have on my cork board that I love - me in the frog costume all of like 2 years old.

anon4him said...

It snowed here too... but that's not uncommon for Michigan... I remember playing a softball game in a snow storm on May 1st one year! I remember quite a bit of my childhood before age 11, and there aren't too many pictures of me. I don't remember too much before age 5 though.

Jesse said...

i dislike snow!!
leaHa you were so adorable when you were younger and still are =]
S2 love you lotss sis <3

Shawn said...

Yeah, it is hot here.

As far as not remembering before you are 11 is neither normal, and sadly some say "it is for your own good." It is hard to hear the latter because it is usually do to a trauma that we don't remember.

I remember things from 2-5. but from 6-13, I remember only a few things and none of them are from home. Shitty things happen for reasons we don't understand, but writting it off as just "it's for your own good," just doesn't cut it for me.

And I agree with Jesse, you were adorable when you were younger...what happened? J/K you know I think you're awesome.

Anonymous said...

Yay snow!! Hooray weird, manic, unpredictable, windy, calm, sunny, cloudy, warm, rainy, cold, dry northwest pre-spring 2008! And hooray for you my lovely little childhood louie. It looks quite like you are playing with a sparkler indoors in this photo....likely just some tinsel thingy in the background but sheesh.....you told me that your parentals were pretty non-disciplinarian but fireworks in the living room WOW!! lucky you WOO HOO! Hey about the childhood memory gaps.....I have the same thing goin on with my own recollections. Very vague and sparse are my memories of my childhood, even up till my early teens!!! I agree with Shawn that it could be due to trauma, and in my case I am certain that it is. "for your own good"......well everyone is different.. thinks differntly..processes hurt and abuse differently..receives and interprets life differently. I wouldn't and don't simply "write it off" as being for my own good, rather I accept that things were bad..really bad and feel fortunate that I don't have to revisit hurtfull scenes from my past. I feel protected and cared for by my creator and believe this to be a helpfull device instilled in us. Remembering all the negative crap would have done nothing for me other than cause more difficulty and complexity toward forgiveness and grace for my parents. The amazing turnaround that my father has made and the incredible person/father that he is effectively striving to be(PRAISE JESUS) also helps immensely. Not everyone has such a situation, and I can understand how it would be much much more difficult to have grace and compassion for parents who caused harm and have never changed their behavior or shown apology or remourse*spell chex* remorse.. reeee mors...rheem orce?????that does not look right..I don't think I have ever written that word...... but I AM glad that I don't recall the B.S. Sure I am damaged and sure I am effected still but I rebuild AYE:)




-T

LeahA said...

:)

Anonymous said...

"Comment and make me smile ... I love comments, they are kinda like little free text messages... if you do it I promise you will feel better inside because you will be making me feel good..." do all comments make u feel good?? that is sweet u found the pic leaha, it is amazing, and i love that lil pink suit, pink is fer sure ur color
-noah

Anonymous said...

I don't have a blog spot dot com so I'll do my blogg'n in your comment spot dot com wheeeeee:)
I just realized how long my last comment was! Hogging the Louie comment real estate <<------O.B.



-boyfriend

LeahA said...

it was long but good... i like comments: long, short, tall, wide,sideways, anyways......