May 30, 2008

I dont deal with "missing" well

I am having one of those moments (or I am in a mood) where I wish I was dating someone* who lived closer to me. I want to be able to just call that person up and be like “hey, Lets do something, I will be over there in 15 mins” or have a time when I am just surprised by that person’s presence at my house or at my work.

I am being ungrateful for what I have, which is more then anything I could have asked or imagined for, but these moods just happen upon me…or like tonight is triggered by events/people. Tonight I went out to Martini with my old manager and her boyfriend and just wanted to have that person there with me; to pick on, to laugh with, to annoy….you know all the normal life things, but he wasn’t there ( no blame is meant) and it felt like he should be there( maybe because it is a friday night?). The night was fun and I didn’t think much about it until I left, but the point is I still thought about it and feel a bit ashamed for that.

I am annoyed with myself because like I said earlier I feel that the person who I have in my life is beyond wonderful, is a blessing, is my love and I don’t want to be ungrateful, especially regarding him.

I am not good at this semi-long distance thing; I need/want personal face to face interaction with everyone that is involved in my life…. I want it with my roommate, my mom, my leah, my friends, my family and my boyfriend….

The point is I am unhappy that I let myself feel ungrateful when God has a bigger plan that goes beyond my temporary mood shifts.

Some one give me a little shake please!

* the person I want closer is the one I already have !

6 comments:

noah said...

all in good time leaha

LeahA said...

i guess

anon4him said...

*shake shake shake*

I know what you mean though... I often end up being ungrateful though I am tremendously blessed

Melissa said...

I just checked out a book called "Live What You Love", thinking that it would help me find gratitude for life again. I cannot express to you how grateful I am that I did. I know that I am blessed, but feeling it everyday became hard to do until I learned about my life in a different light.

t said...

booooooooooooooooo :) it's only 94 miles my love, or a few more kilometers....it's really funny that I didn't read this till tonight...thursday....but the next day after u wrote it I showed up there in vannycouver unanounced to surprise you hahaha. Almost like I am tuned in to LeahA moodovision. tee hee

LeahA said...

hahahaha OB that can probably help you out in the future eh !