Hello

So the stew was yummy, I think we ate it for the next week and even got Ava to try some. I ended up making another soup 3 or 4 days later...I am seeing that soups are a hit at my house since they are easily re-heated without the use of a microwave.

My computer is still broken and Tim's computer is too old to except my memory card or the right USB cord to transfer pictures so I still wait until the day I can show some more current pictures of life on my new Island.

It feels like it is becoming more home to me here. These last 3 months have been bit of a hard transition...ya I get to be with Tim and am married but sometimes I miss everyone at home more then I can handle. Some days I wish I could just call up my friend Leah and then show up at her house 20 mins later or walk in the mall and see 2 or 3 people that I just know ! But with that being said God has faithfully provided me with a new family of people...good people, annoying people, friendly and interesting people and I am extremly glad for that. I asked him for a friend around my age since most tend to be a lot older right now and for that I am still waiting.

I think when I get my social security number it will be even better because then I will be able to work...ohhh how I miss working...the mailbox has become my best friend, i check that thing religiously every day at 3:30...so if you ever want to send me mail I will gladly except.
xoxo, Leaha

Change.

I have been thinking

Thinking that I don’t write here enough

When I first started this blog I was a single girl living in Vancouver Canada with my vegan red headed roommate.

Now I am married living on a little Island in the US with my curly haired electrician husband and his own version of Dakota Fanning 6 year old daughter.

I want to perhaps start a new blog

A blog about my new life

A life which consists of lots of dish washing, laundry folding, church activities and meal creation.

Doesn’t sound as interesting as it could be but I didn’t think that looking at my friends feet for a week would be exciting yet it was.

I was thinking of starting a new blog that discusses my newness to being a wife, step mother and homemaker (I am still a student and that takes up a lot of my time too).

I was thinking of talking about my newness to cooking meals which I try to do about every second day, some are good many are failures...tonight was "outstanding" in the words of my husband...good ole chicken pot pie.

I want to add pictures (which means I need to get my butt down to a computer repair shop since mine is broken :( )

I want to share with ya'll how I have been living in a construction site since I have been married...right now I sit on a couch that sits on plywood with a sledgehammer, broom, huge garbage tin, electrical tools and nails all around.

I want to share how I will one day decorate this place (believe me it needs help)

I want to share my new life with my old life friends who are still my present friends.

I want to copy my friend Leah and do a "week in my shoes" post.

Back In Action

Have you ever thought it was strange how ones emotions can go from feeling; lonely, hurt, angered, betrayed, unsure to completely happy, blessed, excited and then back to upset and unrest again?

Maybe you've never felt that before or you have had a variation of such, but it has happened to me recently and has completely derailed my sense of sanity and balance.

I have had moments when I have wanted to write but just can’t seem to make any sense of my thoughts or don’t want to write them down because they might convince me that i really am crazy or something close to it.

I like words, I like thoughts and imagination and insight and writing and balance and reading all of my friends blog's and sleeping in. I don’t like feeling purposeless or unbalanced or unfriendly or unthankful or unhappy.

I am in the most wonderful season of my life, shheeesh sometimes its mind-blowing and exhilarating and great and i want to share it with everyone but I don’t know how cause everyone i know is far away and/or what if they don’t believe me and what if they don’t care and what if i am not in the mood to share?

My thoughts are all over the place, but you get the point right?

Love is great, friends are great so is reading and hugging and sharing and eating pasta together, I just got married and that is even more then great, its humbling, warm, scary, beautiful, passionate, quiet and more then anything that i could ever have dreamed of.

photo by Leah Tan

I dont deal with "missing" well

I am having one of those moments (or I am in a mood) where I wish I was dating someone* who lived closer to me. I want to be able to just call that person up and be like “hey, Lets do something, I will be over there in 15 mins” or have a time when I am just surprised by that person’s presence at my house or at my work.

I am being ungrateful for what I have, which is more then anything I could have asked or imagined for, but these moods just happen upon me…or like tonight is triggered by events/people. Tonight I went out to Martini with my old manager and her boyfriend and just wanted to have that person there with me; to pick on, to laugh with, to annoy….you know all the normal life things, but he wasn’t there ( no blame is meant) and it felt like he should be there( maybe because it is a friday night?). The night was fun and I didn’t think much about it until I left, but the point is I still thought about it and feel a bit ashamed for that.

I am annoyed with myself because like I said earlier I feel that the person who I have in my life is beyond wonderful, is a blessing, is my love and I don’t want to be ungrateful, especially regarding him.

I am not good at this semi-long distance thing; I need/want personal face to face interaction with everyone that is involved in my life…. I want it with my roommate, my mom, my leah, my friends, my family and my boyfriend….

The point is I am unhappy that I let myself feel ungrateful when God has a bigger plan that goes beyond my temporary mood shifts.

Some one give me a little shake please!

* the person I want closer is the one I already have !

I love you water

If it wasn’t for warm water I would probably never drink water straight up, so if you want to win* my heart then warm water is the way (btw my heart is not available).

It seems that people have been giving me their opinions on love lately;
what it means to be in love, how long it takes, how you should go about it, what the boundaries should be, who to love, when to love, why to love, where to love…you know things like that …and the list goes on and on but the only advice I usually remember is that of my dads which is that he doesn’t believe people can truly love, unless the person is a part of themselves like a child or brother but he says that even then his theories often fails. I don’t like his ideas but then he is my dad so I listen and give my opinion but he usually disregards it because in his mind I am 15 and I need his constant supervision and insight (lets be honest here I guess part of my likes it, but only part of me). I don’t really understand the love between people beyond what I have experienced and received , all I really know is that it is more then a feeling! But that leaves gaps in my mind…anways it seems I have digressed in the reason for writing, so lets get back on track here.

Last night at Tenth, Ken read this quote below to all of us, and I think it struck me, my roommate and my Leah (you can read Jenn’s insight here, its probably much more deep and articulate then mine, but it should probably be that way because she is a writer and I am a talker)

“Nothing is more practical than finding GOD, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything. Father Pedro Arrupe

Beautiful eh!

Since I don’t fully know what my thoughts are about love and such, why don’t you give me yours, at least this way I can have other peoples ideas instead of just my Dad’s stuck in my brain !

*--- Win isn’t the right word, its not a game right?

ps. the picture is what happens to water when you say " i love you " to it, more information can be found here too

Questions

Dear Me

Why do you always leave things to the last minute?
Why do you not say what you’re feeling?
Why won’t you just start liking cheese?
Why do you eat those vegan brownies when you promised yourself you wouldn’t?
Why don’t you spend more time doing what you love?
Why don’t you phone people back when you say you’re going to?
Why aren’t you nicer to your sister?
Why do you not dream of your wedding like every other girl in the world?
Why do apples taste so DANG good?
Why do you let him know that he makes you tingle?
Why don’t you start being more open?
Why don’t you spend more time with your Leah, Kat, Michelle, Morena and Jenn?
Why do you treat your baby, aka Petey, aka Car so bad by not cleaning it?
Why don’t you let yourself sleep more?
Why do you love coffee so much?
why do you love toast so much ( not bread but TOAST)?
and finally self why do you have to get old?

Priggish

I went to 10th ave tonight with my dad, leah and gloryorya.... my roommate usually comes but she decided to spend some quality time with her parents ( who does that anymore) well anyways it was a good night because I learnt a new word and I saw my roommates crush, which just so happens to be my crush ! I embarrassed myself when I dropped my pen on the lame ant floor and everyone looked at me..Such is life eh!
Well besides seeing my roommates crush (just to remind everyone it has been well over a month since me and Jenn have seen him..Sigh***) I also learned a new word.. PRIG.... have you heard of it before? Cause I sure haven’t.. (Leah I know you have since you are writing a blog about it...punk) ... well I think the best way to explain this new word is to describe my friend Leah (or Charles Dickens' portrait of the day-nurse Betsy Prig) since she so accurately potrays the meaning of the word!!!
She believes she is right, she wants to prove it to the word by telling them what to do, she is a person who demonstrates an exaggerated conformity or propriety, especially in an irritatingly arrogant or smug manner, which basically means she is snot (and yes the kind that comes out of your nose is included too )..she has too be right all the time and she uses her education to prove herself against me..gosh I cant help that I was born in society that doesnt place a high value on it...so if u have a priggish friend i recommend you sell them and see what you can get...or maybe just keep beating them at card games such as dutch blitz to show them that there priggy ways will not be put up with.

Not Studying

I am trying to study right now but don’t have the concentration capabilities needed.
I am sitting in Renaissance drinking tea and this cute dog is looking at me. I think he thinks I am going to pet him. I don’t think he realizes that there is a window in between us.

I have been unsure about what I believe for a what seems like a long while, well I mean I know what I believe but I don’t believe that I can live it… maybe I am looking too much into it, maybe I just think this way cause I am moody.
I have been moody quite a bit… I just want to be alone, ok maybe not actually alone but I don’t want people to be near unless I want them near.

When I was out with Leah, I wanted her near but maybe that’s because I trust her. Like she could say something mean to me and I could call her on it and all would be well…I trust her with my moodiness.
Or my Kat, I think my Kat is wonderful in an inspiring way. She isn’t typical. I like that she doesn’t complain about stuff and then not do something about it (did that sentence make sensecause I just re read it and it might not make sense). I like being around her because she has a great energy and she is accepting of the fact that I am indigenizing her.

My mom phoned me last night, I miss my mom.

I like the feeling of leaving things to the last minute. That type of stress makes me move (and no I am not justifying my lack of studying).

I don’t like having conversations right when I wake up… I don’t hear anything except my body saying how cold it is.

What kind of career does one have when they are a relationship person with a bad memory?

My tea tastes very good.

The cute dog is gone.

Ohhh a great song is on “Music is played for love

Cruising is made for love, I love it when were cruisin together"

You dont have to live like this !

I am not going to go, I am going to go, I am not going to go

I went!

Leah gave me her Indecisive syndrome !

I went and had a beautiful time. Gloria, Leah, Grace, Franny and I went to Seattle this past Sunday to attend a conference by Rob Bell titled “The Gods aren’t Angry”. which was "Part anthropology, part history, part deconstruction - this is new material that Rob hasn't taught before, exploring how humans invented religion to make themselves feel better". He was brilliant and I enjoyed what he spoke about but the day was more then about him.

Some friends gave me little nuggets of wisdom about my time there after I explained to them that I had not laughed as hard and as much as I did while wandering around Seattle. I was there for this and not that .

Even trying to explain it and show pictures doesn’t seem descriptive enough, maybe perhaps because it was for me . But here are some pictures anyways….

(To give a little perspective on the way we were acting… just think to the last time you were at the mall and saw a bunch of teenage girls together, laughing and being annoying as if no one else were around. Now just replace that with five 20 something year olds ! )


(before we got in the car)

( fighting the fierce Seattle wind)

( still fighting)


(Victoria Secret photo session)

( Gloryorya and I posing for Leah)

(Inside the conference)


( one of the Few shots of Leah (with Grace) since she was the photographer)

( doing the unimaginable..eating cheesecake)